If I Had My Life to Live Over Again by Erma Bombeck Plaques

Erma Bombeck Famous Quotes & Sayings

Listing of top 100 famous quotes and sayings about erma bombeck to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Tiptop 100 Erma Bombeck Quotes

#1. Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You lot used to exist able to call a wrong number and get a person. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#2. Volunteers are the just human being beings on the confront of the earth who reflect this nation'south pity, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain honey for one another. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#3. There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, one-act and tragedy, sense of humour and hurt. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#4. Men who have a thirty-six-tele vised-football- games-a- week-addiction should be declared legally dead and their estates probated. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#5. Exercise I have to use my ain money? - Author: Erma Bombeck

#6. I come from a family where gravy is considered a potable. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#vii. I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They desire your trust, your pity, your blinding love and your car keys, but y'all endeavor to understand them and you lot're in big trouble. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#8. My thought of 'roughing it' is when you have to have an extension for your electric blanket. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#9. Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is non a topic to exist brought up in public. Information technology's too controversial. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#10. Explicate to me how he [her son] tin can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, prepare a camp, swing, fight a state of war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage tin can. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#xi. It is fast approaching the bespeak where I don't desire tAdenauer to want the job. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#12. Motherhood is the second oldest profession in the world. It never questions age, height, religious preference, wellness, political affiliation, citizenship, morality, ethnic background, marital status, economical level, convenience, or previous experience. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#xiii. Poached eggs are proficient, poached animals are not. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#xiv. To say, "Well, I write when I really get into information technology" is a bunch of bull. Put the newspaper in the typewriter, stare at it a long time, get snowblindness if yous take to, simply write something. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#xv. Sometimes I tin't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked homo anatomy. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#16. Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether information technology be in church building, a public coming together place, during a movie, or later hours when the lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have to concluding a lifetime and must exist conserved. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#17. A friend will tell you lot she saw your old boyfriend - and he'due south a priest. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#18. Before we sent kids to reckoner camps and told them they were having a expert time, there was imagination among the human being species. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#19. When humour get's, in that location go's civilization. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#20. Whatever mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so moisture he'southward treading h2o. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#21. Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#22. Car designers are only going to have to come up upwards with an car that outlasts the payments. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#23. Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It'due south hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days information technology's so tranquility, yous don't even know it's there ... - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#24. Never exist in a hurry to terminate a union. Remember, you may need this human being/woman to finish a sentence. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#25. If compliments were nutrient, I'd accept starved to death 28 years agone. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#26. I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their dejeuner 60 minutes. I've never met a adult female in my life who would give up lunch for sex. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#27. Those magazine dieting stories always take the testimonial of a woman who wore a wearing apparel that could slipcover New Jersey in i photo and 30 days later looked similar a well-dressed thermometer. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#28. Guilt: the souvenir that keeps on giving. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#29. I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the lesser of the colina. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#30. If I raised my paw to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd blanch and phone call their attorney. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#31. When children attain the age of xvi, they discover the pregnant of life: motorcar keys. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#32. The fact was I didn't want to look my age, but I didn't want to deed the age I wanted to look either. I also wanted to grow erstwhile plenty to understand that sentence. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#33. Non all bears have their ain idiot box series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#34. People are e'er asking couples whose marriage has endured at to the lowest degree a quarter of a century for their hugger-mugger for success. Actually, it is no hole-and-corner at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my hubby for non being Paul Newman. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#35. I never leaf through a re-create of National Geographic without realizing how lucky nosotros are to alive in a society where information technology is traditional to wear clothes. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#36. When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money volition be right up there in the Top X. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#37. It'southward simply incorrect to always gild [kids] to end that fighting. In that location are times when ane child is simply defending his rights and damned well should exist fighting. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#38. Parenting is a negative thing. Continue your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#39. Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Female parent Teresa. Fame is Madonna. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#40. If I had my life to alive over I would accept burned the pinkish candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#41. The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only crimson meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track? - Author: Erma Bombeck

#42. Thanksgiving dinners have eighteen hours to set. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#43. It would accept been a wonderful wedding - had information technology non been mine. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#44. In that location are few things in this world more than satisfying than having your son teach you how to play lawn tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#45. I hated skiing or whatsoever other sport where in that location was an ambulance waiting at the bottom of the colina. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#46. Humour is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It'south unbridled, its unplanned, information technology's total of suprises. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#47. The only reason I would have upward jogging is so that I could hear heavy animate again. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#48. Insanity is hereditary. You tin can take hold of it from your kids. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#49. Next to hot chicken soup, a tattoo of an anchor on your chest, and penicillin, I consider a honeymoon ane of the most overrated events in the world. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#l. I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying "Open!" was never a big deal, just property that television tuner and realizing I lone control what is flashed on the screen brings out the Iacocca in me. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#51. Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until information technology was time to become married. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#52. A grandparent will aid you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you lot to grow upward. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#53. In that location would have been more 'I love yous's' and more than, 'I'k sorry's'. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#54. One certainty when you travel is the moment y'all arrive in a foreign state, the American dollar will fall like a stone. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#55. When I stand up before God at the terminate of my life, I would hope that I would not accept a single scrap of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#56. Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, exist sure they're not trying to go on up with you. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#57. Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of information technology until the computer says you're out of it. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#58. In full general my children refuse to consume anything that hasn't danced in goggle box. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#59. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#60. People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or married woman. The rules are the same. Expect for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#61. My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and plant it was empty. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#62. It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#63. Authorities say brain cells may shrink, only they don't necessarily die. Frankly, I am cheered past the fact that something is shrinking. I'd exist even more thrilled if what was shrinking affected my dress size, but yous can't have everything. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#64. Babies on telly never spit upwardly on the Ultrasuede. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#65. Being a kid at home alone in the summertime is a high-adventure occupation. If you phone call your mother at piece of work thirteen times an hour, she tin can hurt yous. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#66. There'south something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with lather and water after she'south only measured water in it. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#67. You become near as exciting every bit your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the middle, and ask if anybody'southward home. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#68. If I had my life to alive over, instead of wishing away 9 months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing within me was the merely take a chance in life to assist God in a miracle. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#69. For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than near marriages is not like shooting fish in a barrel. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#lxx. Maybe age is kinder to u.s. than we retrieve. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I accept a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#71. Someone once threw me a small, dark-brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over information technology until it was dead. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#72. Maternity isn't just a serial of contractions; information technology'southward a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human beingness. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#73. House guests should be regarded as perishables: Exit them out too long and they go bad. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#74. She's as funny as a toothache - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#75. A kid develops individuality long before he develops sense of taste. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#76. What does it turn a profit a 78-twelvemonth-old woman to sit around the pool in a bikini if she cannot feed herself? - Author: Erma Bombeck

#77. Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#78. Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the decorated, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#79. A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fatty. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#80. Virtually children's first words are 'Mama' or 'Daddy.' Mine were, 'Do I have to use my ain money?' - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#81. I became hysterical and frightened and begged for sedation. And that was simply the commencement prenatal visit. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#82. Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#83. Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is subconscious. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#84. Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#85. Why have pride in cooking, when they don't accept pride in eating? - Author: Erma Bombeck

#86. Many people are intimidated past doctors ... People likewise feel stupid when they don't empathise what a doctor's talking virtually the first time effectually, and then they don't inquire again. And allow's be honest here, people. English is non a md'southward first language. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#87. For years, my hubby and I have advocated separate vacations. Only the kids keep finding us. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#88. [On her father'south death:] I didn't know his leaving would hurt so much. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#89. Did you ever notice that the starting time piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? - Author: Erma Bombeck

#xc. To be honest, withal, I volition accept to admit that I wrote this book for the original model - the i who was overkidsed, underpatienced, with 4 years of college and chapped easily all twelvemonth around. I knew if I didn't follow Faith'south advice and express joy a little at myself, then I would surely cry. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#91. God created man, but I could do better. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#92. I have seen my child struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#93. Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way dorsum into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of concern twenty years agone. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#94. I see children as kites. You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the basis. You run with them until you're both breathless. They crash ... you add a longer tail ... yous patch and comfort, adjust and teach. You lot watch them lifted past the air current and assure them that someday they'll fly. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#95. Grandmas tin shed the yoke of responsibleness, relax and savor their grandchildren in a mode that was not possible when they were raising their own children. And they tin can glow in the realisation that here is their seed of life that volition harvest generations to come. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#96. A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you lot are on Halloween. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#97. You lot bear witness me a boy who brings a ophidian home to his female parent and I'll show you an orphan. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#98. You hear a lot of dialogue on the expiry of the American family unit. Families aren't dying. They're merging into large conglomerates. - Writer: Erma Bombeck

#99. Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. - Author: Erma Bombeck

#100. Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to wing. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and non call back where she left it. - Author: Erma Bombeck

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